So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
