I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
