I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
