Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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