my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
