Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
