PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
