I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Life is so much better after having sex.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
