I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When did we convert life to cartoon?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We have started to decorate penises.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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