Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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