What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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