Don't make out with my wife yet
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
