I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
