remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
