Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just had sex bonerless
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
