Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
sex in a hospital.. check
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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