There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
