I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
