i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize