I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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