he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
