in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize