Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
