You can't motorboat a personality
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
