She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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