i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
