Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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