i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think pants incapable of making pants work
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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