So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
