I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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