Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize