Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize