The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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