No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
