Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
