I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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