She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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