life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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