At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
