I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
