OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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