hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
