CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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