We named our party play list daddy issues
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
