Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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