I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
