she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
