also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
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