Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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