we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
