Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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