If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize