mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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