Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
