is your mom at the bar?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
