I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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