Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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