i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
