I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He did a backflip because drugs
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize