I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
did i walk over a car last night?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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